How to Validate Others Without Losing The Argument
- Yvette Smit
- Jun 21, 2024
- 2 min read
Have you ever found yourself in a gridlocked conversation with a friend, colleague, family member, or partner, where both of you are vehemently arguing your points of view?
Welcome back—I'm glad you’re joining me again. I hope the reflections we’ve shared so far have been helpful in your journey toward self-discovery. Now, let’s explore an essential part of building connection and emotional safety: the art of validating emotions.
In our previous posts, we’ve discussed how recognising and expressing our emotions authentically can foster personal growth. Now, we move toward another powerful aspect of emotional health: validation. Being heard and having our feelings understood is one of the most fundamental emotional needs we have as humans. It nurtures connection and plays a crucial role in fostering a deep sense of belonging and safety. On the flip side, being misunderstood, ignored, or dismissed can trigger intense emotions like anger, disappointment, and heartbreak. This is precisely why the practice of validating our own and others’ experiences is so important.
Validating means attributing value to another person’s feelings, even if we don’t agree or share the same belief. It’s not about changing your opinion; it’s about acknowledging the person’s perspective as valid in that moment.
Let that sink in. Validating doesn’t mean you have to relinquish your beliefs or lose the argument. Instead, it means you can understand and accept the other person’s viewpoint while still holding your own. This powerful shift in perspective can transform the nature of the conversation, fostering closeness, cooperation, and paving the way for respectful resolutions.
Next time you find yourself in a gridlock, try these tips:
• Give the person your undivided attention.
• Allow them to speak without interruption.
• Be curious and ask questions to gain a better understanding of their experience.
• Acknowledge their viewpoint, even if it differs from yours.
And repeat after me: I do not have to relinquish my belief to validate theirs.
Validating our own and others’ emotions helps us build stronger connections and deeper understanding. If you’re ready to explore how validation can strengthen your relationships, let’s connect.
